We ranked the six coaches of the Warriors against Memphis

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Technically speaking, the Golden State Warriors’ Christmas match with the Memphis Grizzlies was a huge success. Golden State defended their home court, James Wiseman was +8 in 8 minutes, Ty Jerome outscored Dillon Brooks and Taylor Jenkins wore pajamas to an NBA game and lost.

Speaking of technical fouls, it was a real struggle for the Warriors, who were whistled for six T’s in the game. And they committed techniques at all stages of the game: in attack, in defense, on the bench and in the technical area. But not all techs are created equal, which means it’s time to sort those T’s!

6.Jonathan Kuminga:

With five seconds left in the third quarter, Jonathan Kuminga was guarding Ja Morant when he was whistled for a foul. Kuminga didn’t yell at an officer or punch the air. He clapped his hands, once, in frustration. Obviously, the biggest problem in the NBA these days is the audacious hand clapping of young players, so Kuminga needed to be punished.

Kuminga was part of a strong lineup on the bench that held Memphis to five points in the previous four minutes. Perhaps officials realized the 20-year-old was getting too confident after taking two free kicks, blocking a shot and asking Moses Moody for a bucket on that stretch. But T’d up to clap? Was the Grinch on the crew?

5. Jordan Poole, head coach

The Dubs would have had a bigger break at halftime, had it not been for the disastrous end of the second quarter. Poole turned the ball over and Klay Thompson fouled Tyus Jones on a three-pointer. So Poole was called in for a technician. Jones made all four free-kick shots to make it a 59-54 game at halftime.

The referees clearly blew the whistle quickly for everything, fervently believing that the big Christmas national games are their time to shine. Sleigh bells jingling, children singing, Marc Davis whistle: these are the sounds of Christmas.

4. Jordan Poole, second coach

Poole came out to say something to Davis after Memphis point guard/supervillain Dillon Brooks shoved him down after Poole was hit on a no-call drive to the basket. Or Poole looked at Davis. Or he made a motion that looked like he was going to clap. Whatever it was, the move led to the first dismissal of Poole’s career.

“He knows he can’t get a second one,” said Steve Kerr, saving himself some serious cash by not getting into the lead fix. But when you need to review footage of an ejection to determine what happened, it’s not a very satisfying technique.

3. Steve Kerr

This was a technical foul on a technicality. When the Warriors decided to start intentionally fouling Steven Adams, Anthony Lamb was called for a transitional foul, despite Memphis not even attempting a breakaway on the play and the Warriors having four other players on defense.

Kerr apparently raised T for excessive discussion, although he was right. However, his performance was excellent. First, he got up from the bench holding a bottle of water, only to throw it on the scorer’s desk in frustration. He did amazing arm work, reaching out fully in his exasperated pointing, clasping his hands together to pray for an understanding of the rulebook, brushing his hair with both hands back to show disbelief, and jabbing his finger at Davis in a gesture affirmative but not threatening. Bruce Fraser did a good job of pretending to hold Kerr.

The broadcast didn’t show what Kerr said to be phoned in, but the crowd’s rousing chant of “Ref You Suck” certainly didn’t ease the tension. You can tell Kerr made a good decision because failed coach and selfie enthusiast Mark Jackson said it was a bad decision. Hack-a-Adams backfired as he hit both free throws and Memphis got a four-point possession.

2. Draymond Verde

An all-time great technical draftsman, Draymond Green accomplished this one while sitting on the Warriors dugout. It’s standard procedure for Draymond to pick up a T at the start of a big game, because it helps him play to advantage. That spurred him on tonight as he finished off a spectacular defensive game with a historic 3-13-13 lineup. The only players to score three points or fewer and grab 13 rebounds and assists are Charles Oakley, Wilt Chamberlain (in a game where he didn’t shoot from the field) and Draymond himself during the epic 2016 overtime win over Oklahoma City when Steph Curry hit 12 threes. In fact, let’s watch the end of that game.

What puts this play second on our list is Draymond’s pleased reaction when Brooks misses the free throw. Shouting “The ball doesn’t lie!” It’s one thing, but jumping off the bench with an emphatic karate kick is taking trolling to another level.

That wasn’t the end of Green’s pointed harassment of Brooks, the man who has proudly and repeatedly called his Memphis Grizzlies a dynasty, even though his biggest contribution to playoff success was breaking Gary Payton II’s elbow.

1. Klay Thompson

Teasing Dillon Brooks, you say? Klay Thompson will be fined $2,000 for drawing a T for her treatment of Brooks, and he absolutely paid off.

Thompson hit a jumper when Brooks jumped in to block it, then lost his footing after landing on his teammate’s foot. Showing impressive tracking, Klay followed Brooks as he slid backwards on his hindquarters, letting him hear about it as he galloped sideways beside him.

After the game, Thompson told reporters it was “just good old-fashioned talk. I didn’t think it warranted a coach, but I forgot the teasing rule.

Prior to the game, Brooks said he was looking forward to guarding Klay, because “he was talking a little bit before he lost”. Well, he did a lot of talking after Memphis lost this time too.

It was an elegant taunt, for a target who couldn’t deserve more, and who was once again bested by Ty Jerome🇧🇷 Thompson so infuriated Brooks that he goaded him into losing money, after he complained about the officials’ postgame.

Honestly, Brooks was right about the incompetence of the referees on Sunday, but bloggers aren’t fined for criticizing the referees. NBA players do. The problem is that you can’t commit to being a bullshit-talking tough guy and also blabbering on other players for using profanity.

But that’s what separates the veteran Warriors from the young Grizzlies: their technical proficiency.